Want my life story?
Ok, if you insist...

My Cat Hates Me: The only power I have over her is when I shake a box of 'Dreamies' and she comes charging over.
- I broke my arm twice when I was 5 (I'm somewhat clumsy)...
- The 'mean boys' in school picked on me because I was smarter than them and had a big mouth (bad combination)...
- It took me until the age of 35 to meet someone I wanted to marry (and the age of 38 to actually do it)...
- l'm way more obsessed with my black cat Gwen than is warranted - she's not exactly the friendliest moggy around (see image of her disgruntled face for evidence).
- I only put this final bullet in because my OCD insisted that the bottom of these bullets had to line up with the photo caption (not even relevant if you're viewing on mobile).